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Thursday, 19 September 2013

The Dreaded "P" Word

Mac here today folks to discuss something that all dog owners have to put up with, even though they'd probably rather not.

Today's post is not for the faint hearted, I advise that you return tomorrow for a pretty photo or at least read once you've finished your dinner.

Our humans rather enjoy taking us out for walks every day, it gets them some exercise that they were missing out on before and we've explored some new exciting places together. What they don't enjoy though is the purpose of our walks - not only to exercise but also for us to empty our bowels.

Today on our morning walk I supplied Kate with an absolute stonker of a poo. Although her brother Andrew was laughing because we could see the warm air coming off of it (which looked a lot like fumes), she didn't mind too much because it was nice and firm and easy to pick up. She also didn't mind because she thought that would be my only poo of  the walk and now she'd be able to enjoy it in the same way us hounds do.

The thing was, I didn't feel quite done. We continued the walk but near the end as we were walking towards a big grassy area, I decided to squeeze the last sloopy remnants of my breakfast out onto the pavement. Kate was particularly horrified because this occured right outside someone's house and there was a big "For Sale" sign there too, I have a feeling any potential buyers who turn up won't be impressed. Kate then tried her very best to scrape my offering off the pavement and into a bag but sometimes they're just not the right consistency to be fully removed.

Dad is a lot more prepared for walks then Kate, when he goes out her fills up a bum bag with rubber gloves, poo bags, kitchen roll and a bottle of water. Everytime I do a poo he then proceeds to undertake a very fine operation, firstly putting on the rubber gloves for protection, then removing the majority of the poo with a bag in the traditional manner. If any hint of my dung is left, he then pats it down with kitchen roll and attempts to flush it away with the bottle of water. All in all this process can take about 5 minutes and Kate is of the opinion that her dad might just be a little bit insane, however she was the one who needed to drop us off at home then run down the street with a roll of kitchen roll and a bottle of water before anyone saw my work.

A debate was also started between Andrew and Kate - if they were to train me to poo directly through the grid and into the sewer below, would this be illegal or praised as an eco way to maintain a dog (when considering the amount of plastic bags and rubber gloves we go through)? It's a moot point anyway because I would never consider the grid as an appropriate place to do the toilet but my humans can dream I guess!

I've been looking online and it seems as though there are all kinds of gadgets that have been made to pick up dog poo. My favourite is the AshPoopie, an eco friendly product still in development that hopes to turn dog poo into odourless ash. There's also the Sha-Poopie, a device designed to catch the poo before it hits the ground. Kate likes this idea but I'm not so sure, the satisfying "plop" onto the pavement is one of my joys in life and I wouldn't want to miss it. Finally, Poop Freeze seems to work in a similar concept to removing gum from clothes. By freezing the poo the product claims to make it easier for it to be removed. Maisie says she would like to see that in action but personally I believe Scotland is cold enough without freezing the pavements.

Would anybody like to share their thoughts on what works for them? Additionally if any of my canine friends have trained themselves to poo through the grid and into the sewer, Kate would love to hear your technique!


P.S - Today's photo you'll be glad to hear is simply a recent one of us waiting not so patiently to go for a walk.It's not related to the topic in such a way that it will gross out our readers who have made it this far!

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