Our new friend the hedgehog is today's special guest with his Hog Blog, translated from Hedgehogese with the help of our Master;
"Hey dudes, Spike here. Feed me, feed me, feed me! There I was in the garden chewing on a diet slug the other night when all of a sudden I heard 2 greyhound noses sniffing around in the dark. I did a little poop to help them find me quicker and we all said hi and decided to play a game. But what? I don't like Rakes and Ladders and Balloon games are definitely not my cup of tea.
Then I realised that the Master of my pals was also in the garden. But do you know what? The silly human had forgotten to put Mac and Maisie's muzzles on! We. couldn't let him get away with that. As he shouted "No, Mac!", I had a very quick idea to roll up like a ball.
Mac quickly picked me up in his mouth very gently as his Master grabbed at his collar to stop us having fun. But guess what dudes? Unbeknown to his Master, Mac had already managed to get his collar off all by himself in the dark. When the Master grabbed for his collar, it wasn't there and we all ran away laughing.
Then the fun got even better. The Master started chasing us around the garden, but me, Mac and Maisie just ran faster and soon we were all running 40 miles per hour circles in the dark. What a laugh we had. The Master was stressing out and I was laughing so much that I did an accidental wee in Mac's mouth and he had to drop me. Mac got into trouble with his Master and both hounds have been grounded from playing with me.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Mac and Maisie still Facebook me and we've plans for a reunion soon. The Guinness book of records have also been in touch because apparently I'm now the World's Fastest Hedgehog. The fame! The glory! Sex, slugs and rock n roll! Feed me, feed me, feed me!
Master was so shocked by the events of that night that he also grounded himself for forgetting to use the muzzles. Rumour has it that he also had to buy himself a stress ball, but he was last seen chasing it around the garden at 40 mph in Mac's mouth.